Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Randomize
