It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
I'm at about main and main street
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
