he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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