found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
