After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Randomize
