I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Why can't burritos get me drunk
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Randomize