I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Randomize
