I wanna passion pit in your ass
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
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