so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
My feet surprised me
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