I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
Randomize
