she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Randomize
