..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Randomize
