I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
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