They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
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