i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
I want a musical about memes.
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