i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
Randomize
