last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Randomize
