HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
I stole a fireplace last night.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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