Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Randomize