so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
