You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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