you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
My ass is underappreciated
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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