We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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