I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
