Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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