we're blogging at a bar
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
