Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
