Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
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