clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
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