you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
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