but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Randomize
