I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
