dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
I need a beard to bite.
Randomize
