My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize