oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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