OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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