we should wear snuggies to the strip club
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
Randomize