I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
