why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
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