u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
Randomize
