i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize