If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
I party with great urgency now.
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