I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
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