We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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