Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Randomize
