he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Randomize
