GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
Randomize
