Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Randomize
