It's like God shit irony all over that family
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
