can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
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