Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Randomize
