i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
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