I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
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