I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize
