im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
Randomize
