Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Randomize
