walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
