Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
