Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
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