am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize
